Tuesday, October 26, 2010

If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.

My title of this post is my explanation for a lack of post yesterday.   The only thing I wanted to talk about yesterday was....ok, the only thing I wanted to WHINE and COMPLAIN about yesterday was the teasing, comments and advice about food and pregnancy.

So instead of whining and making a big deal out of a mole hill, I decided to not write anything at all.

I'm still going to address the issue, but hopefully in a more calm and nice manner.  (hormones were raging yesterday!)  Here is what led up to me losing my cool:

1. Someone showed me pictures of pregnant women online to show me how "huge" I was going to get.
2. Some people went maternity clothes shopping and the comments about how huge I was going to get kept coming.  Not only am I going to get a huge belly, but my arms and face and feet and everything else is apparently going to swell up like Violet in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
3. I have been told that all the food I am eating now will catch up to me towards the end of the pregnancy.
4. This past weekend, some folks were teasing me about my hearty appetite and again all the comments about "getting huge".
5. Someone gave me some good advice about going for walks at my lunch break instead of a nap.  Apparently I didn't catch the part where this is going to help me stay awake.  I just caught that I needed some exercise instead of a nap.
6. And having three pieces of pizza will make me fat.  (Can I get an order of fries with that too?  plus dessert!)

Now, everything that has happened is harmless.  There was no harm or malice intended.  Most of what has been said is teasing and advice about pregnancy and food and exercise.

The problem is me.  I just lost 30 pounds before I got pregnant.  I already WAS huge.  I don't want to be huge again!  But I need to gain weight, that is what is healthy for the baby.  (My doctor has said between 15-20 pounds should be good.)  I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I need to gain weight.

And then, I am SO hungry!  All the time!  And if I go too long without food, it's like some alien being inside of me (I might start calling the baby "Alien") is controlling my body and mind and I HAVE to eat.  I seriously get this feeling of "if I don't eat, I will die."   And you can ask my sister, she gets a kick out of it, I get really whiny.

(my little sister used to be the whiner, now it's me!)

Basically, my problem is this:  I'm paranoid about my weight.  I now need to gain.  The teasing and advice are making me feel insecure about my body and my weight.   I'm still not showing and I still can't feel the baby inside of me.

From my point of view....what if I wasn't really pregnant?  What if I was just getting fat again?!

It didn't help that some of the fun and joking around this weekend included: "Are you sure you are pregnant?  Maybe you are faking it, where's your belly?"


So anyway, the problem is ME.  Not everyone else.

I'll be okay, but here is some teasing/advice back to everyone else:

Don't tease a pregnant woman about her weight, how big she is going to get or how much (or how little) she is eating.   A pregnant woman is already paranoid about not eating the right foods or getting the right nutrients and vitamins to her baby.  She is already worried about gaining too much weight or not gaining enough weight.

There is enough worry, and sometimes the teasing might just push a little too far for her very sensitive mind at the moment.

But hey, when this pregnancy is all said and done and I'm all skinny again, feel free to remind me of how much food I ate....haha, I'll probably miss that! :)

Mmmm...double cheeseburger...

Is it lunch time yet?


JoAnne said...

If I had only gained twenty pounds, I would have been thrilled! Wish I did as well as you are doing.

The afternoon walk in the fresh air will probably help you stay awake in the afternoon, you said you were getting sleepy lately.

Keep snacks in your purse. I think you are forgetting to eat throughout the day (snack, snack and more snacks) and therefore are starving by the time you get to food.

Sounds like you are ready to bite off someone's head.... hmmm that might be tasty.

Dani said...

I do have snacks...and I eat regular meals. I think I am just eating a LOT more than people are used to. I was eating for a deficit and now I am eating to gain, which means enough to maintain plus some. Big difference.

I probably shouldn't dress as a zombie for Halloween since I want to bite off heads....haha.

Marybeth @ AlarmClockWars said...

Good luck with everything. I'm sure it's driving you crazy - your whole focus on food/activity has had to shift 180 degrees. Can you ask your friends and family to back off on the weight/food talk? I promise to never bring it up. :)

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