This post is all about pregnancy stuff. If you don't want to read it, I have already given warning. Stop now.
Yesterday I commented that my mind has started in on all the "what ifs" of having a baby. I don't know why. I have had a perfectly happy pregnancy and no issues so far. For whatever reason this past week, I started having nightmares. They weren't even baby or pregnancy related. Just highly stressful situations. For example, one dream I had, a friend of mine had been kidnapped and I needed to rescue her. In another the terrorists were going to blow something up and I had to stop them. In another I was the hostage and I had to escape after being tortured. I'm sure everyone will have some interpretation for these dreams. (I'm not looking for any.)
I think they are due to the natural worry that comes with being a first time mom and they are also due to all the other "stress" I have in my life. We are moving this month, we need to pack and clean. I have to re-take my certification exam. I'M HAVING A BABY!!! AAAAHHHH!
So the nightmares I would wake up from, heart pounding, cold sweat and then lie awake trying to fall back asleep. During the day, new things started up in my brain. What if the baby has something wrong with it. What if it has brain damage. What if I hurt it in kickboxing class before I realized I was pregnant. And then I read online about a woman's baby that died in the womb. I won't give the details, but basically that freaked me out. I didn't realize all the things that could go wrong!
The timing just worked out that my friend Amy (who is due 2 weeks after me with her second!) sent me an IM. We have been checking in with each other periodically to see how we are doing. I was about to leave work, so I called her. And then I told her about the nightmares and the daytime thoughts. She mentioned that the exact same thing happened to her with her first pregnancy. And then she told me something completely logical. Which was perfect, because logic works on me best.
She said: "You can't waste time worrying about the things you can't control. Yep, those things can happen, but don't waste your time on it. Worry about eating right and taking care of your body."
Logic. Perfect. What is funny is that she told me something I already know. One of my favorite books is "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living." by Dale Carnegie. And that is the basis of his book. If you can't control it, don't worry about it. If you can control it, DO something about it.
Dani Do It. Get it?
So after my chat with Amy the daytime thoughts didn't completely go away but the nightmares did. I have had two great nights of sleep now. Thank you Amy! In the meantime I will work on the daytime thoughts by staying OFF the internet and to stop reading articles online about pregnancy.
Especially the ones about things that can go wrong.