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Friday, June 10, 2011

My New Mom Brain...and Heart.

I arrived at work today for my second day.  As I approached the entrance, I saw something tiny and pink and squirmy on the ground near the door.  It was a baby bird (so young, no feathers yet) on the ground, squirming.  It had fallen out of it's nest.

Kill me now.  Immediately my eyes started getting filled with tears.  My brain and body shot into action mode.  I needed to do something about this NOW.  This was a baby, and it was suffering.

I have always felt softness and kindness towards anything innocent and helpless, and especially animals.  But this is a new feeling.  This is feeling sorry for the animals in the pound TIMES TEN.

Now, I do still have a very logical brain.  I know that every spring/summer baby birds probably fall out of nests all over the world and that many of them probably don't make it.  I know that there are animals and people suffering all over the world and there is not a thing I can do about it.  I know that if I waste my time thinking about it and feeling bad about it that I could waste my entire life worrying.

But this one is RIGHT THERE.  In front of me!  What am I supposed to do?  Leave it?  That doesn't seem like a good option.  It's going to be hot today and it's already sitting in the sun.  Move it?  Probably a bad idea, if the Momma comes back, it may abandon it.  Do I do the most awful thing I can think of and put it out of possible misery?   There is NO way I could do that, but I might be able to ask someone else to do it for me.

Nobody prepares you for these things in life.

So what did I do?  I found a guy in our building who takes care of everything and he has been here for years.  I told him about the bird.  He said it happens every year.  He told me he will move it, it's what he has done in the past.  He said sometimes they make it.  I did do a Google search and apparently it's a myth that if you touch a baby bird the parents will abandon it.  Well, that's good to know.

In the meantime, how am I supposed to work all day thinking about this baby bird?

I just snuck back outside to check on the bird.  Unfortunately, I think it is now dead.  :(  I don't know if someone did it, or if it's time was just now.  This makes me really sad.   Seriously, a girl who rarely cried can now cry buckets of tears at the drop of a hat.   Where was all of this when I was doing theatre in college?

Want another example of my new Mama Brain/Heart?  Anthony and I went to see the movie Sucker Punch about a week and half after Zoe was born.  There was a scene where the heroine had to kill a dragon to get to the next part of her mission.  She had to kill a baby dragon.  The mama dragon was PISSED.  The main character then had to kill the mama dragon.

I was rooting for that mama dragon.  

That little blonde you-know-what would have gotten what she deserved.

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