The other morning my favorite morning radio program (The TJ Show, 103.3 in Boston) was discussing getting dumped in middle school. The reason they were talking about it was his niece (she is 12) had just been dumped after only THREE hours.
Yeesh. At 12 I think I was still a little afraid to admit I liked boys.
Then they wanted callers to call in with their stories of being dumped in middle school (most of us have one or either that we weren't lucky enough to be dating yet.). I wanted to call in, but my story has two parts, and the second half isn't really MY story.
It's my sister's.
So I had to get her permission. And then it was too late to call in...but not too late for a story for my blog!
Waaay long time ago, I was a sophomore in high school and I was good friends with a guy (boy? man-child?) that I had a serious big time crush on. I liked this guy so much...I didn't even admit it really to my friends. I had met him in 8th grade and fell for him quickly. He was a little chubby, outgoing and had mesmerizing eyes. Fast forward a few years and he had lost that "baby weight" and was a very good looking guy. And I was still majorly crushing. We were very good friends and talked a lot on the phone (remember those days?) and one day he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was over the moon about this. That weekend he came to my house, held my hand...did all the stuff boys who like girls do (we had our first kiss, etc) and I was one smitten kitten.
Fast forward three days? Four days? I can tell you it was less than a week, and I was dumped. With no explanation and I was heart broken. To this day, I still don't know why he asked me to be his girlfriend, spent time with me...and then dumped me a few days later. It hurt, it hurt bad. And as a teenage girl I went over and over in my head what I had done wrong.
It didn't occur to me until I was older that HE was the one with the issue, not me.
Fast forward again (Part two!).
My senior year of high school also happened to be my sister's freshman year of high school. Early in the school year, a boy asked her to be his girlfriend. And then he dumped her four days later. I felt really bad for her, I knew how she felt, she had no explanation...how does someone do that to you? She was being really mopey and singing sad songs...and I started to get angry. How dare these boys lead us on..."win" us over and then dump us. Did they just enjoy the challenge?
There was a football game that week and I was a cheerleader. It was the kind of event that a lot of people attended. I was walking with my sister after the game and we walked by a group of boys who started laughing. I looked back and saw that boy who had dumped my sister. I looked back at my sister and she was near tears. And then I got really really angry.
In order to accurately picture this next scene...you need a description of me back then. First off...I'm short. Five feet even. Five one on a good day. And back then I was thin, and had short brown/blonde hair. And I'm in a cheerleading uniform.
This kid was over six feet tall. And he was a scrawny freshman, but he also played football, and was wearing his freshman team jersey to support our team.
I walked over to the group of boys, went right up to him and pushed him up against a chain link fence. I got right in his face (standing on my tip toes!) and said to him: "You don't look at her. You don't talk to her. You don't talk about her. You don't even think about her. Or I will hurt you."
At least I think that's what I said. And we walked away and drove home.
I do know that from that moment on, that kid was really scared of me. Later on he and my sister became good friends (though they never dated again) and he would do everything he could to avoid me. Eventually I did talk to him one day and I told him he wasn't so bad...just no one made my sister feel that way.
And now...looking back as an adult...I wonder...
How many boys breaking my heart did it take for me to become a commitment phobe in my early adult years? When did the tide change where I dated more casually than seriously?
But seriously...you don't hurt my sister. She might be taller than me, but I'm still the big sister.
And I'll have to hurt you.